fuzzy face I love you

Apparently those who keep track of such things have determined that hairy chests are coming back in. Yeah, I know, who knew that they were ever out. I'm all over hair on men. I want my man to look like a man, his legs and chest and face should be hairier than mine. I like manly men.

And I guess the knowers-of-useless-knowledge say that is the reason. The age of the metrosexual is gone, no more sensitive guys for us. We're going caveman. Whatever forces out there (ecomony, weather, age, hormones) control our preferences are pushing us toward the hunter-type of yore. The warrior. The Manly Man. And the manly man has hair.

Since the average person on the street doesn't display or see chest hair (unless he is a gorilla, and then we don't WANT to see- there is such a thing as too MUCH of a good thing), lets talk about the male hair we do see.

Before I go on- I do need to clarify that not all manly men have facial hair- that doesn't mean they aren't manly men. Manly men just don't have chest-hairdos like they have fair-hairdos, so we have nothing to talk about.

face hair comes in many different varieties, and I like them all- full beard is great, long or short is fine, just don't do the Capt. Jack Sparrow thing and make it into tiny braids with beads. Neat and clean please. I can run my fingers thru it, and you can tickle me in all sorts of interesting places with it.
the moustache is nice too, just make sure you have enough hair to sport one, 16 hairs below your nose is NOT a 'stache. Let me get my tweezers and deal with that problem. I personally like the feeling of kissing a guy with a moustache, but I understand it was not for everyone- my mom told dad she'd divorce him if he grew one. He never did, and they will be celebrating 50 years of wedded (mostly) blisss this year. He did however grow a beard for a while- Abe Lincoln style, he actually looked like Honest Abe, when we showed pictures of him, folks would do a double take wondering how we got the 16th president in our living room. \

The we get into all the variations -- the goatee beard only, no 'stache, no 'burns; Sideburns a la Elvis; the soul patch a small polka dot of hair just below the bottom lip on NASCAR drivers and 20-something kids; the vandyke beard and 'stache, no 'burns; fu-manchu moustache, handle bar moustache, (sigh).

What ever variety of fuzzy face you choose, the only caveat is to make sure you have the hairs to grow is. We should NOT see skin between the hair. And the scruffy look can only be pulled off by some specialized type of men-- fat rednecks cannot pull it off, they will just look redneckier. Athletic college boys with charming personalities and clean neat clothes can.

OH, and if you want to make sure that your wife/girlfriend/shack-up doesn't end up wearing Department of Corrections orange (it's not a good fashion statement) and you don't end up 6 feet under with a nice marble rock- CLEAN THE SINK after you shave. We like little tiny hairs growing out of your face, not decorating the sink and counter.