The cost of kindness

There is a lovely resident at our assisted living, I had met her YEARS ago through one of the organizations I joined as a young bride. She wasn't a regular attendee of these meetings but at some point we did meet, and I know (knew) who, at least one of her boys was because he was a retired big-wig in our state level organization.

I'm going to call this lovely resident Shirley, Shirley Goodness. We don't have any residents named Mercy, but Shirley makes up for it- Shirley Goodness shall follow me all the hours of my shift.

As happens with those that are youth-challenged, they become forgetful. Shirley has even forgotten who's forgetful. Every night, she asks me if she can go to bed now- starting at 6:15 when she leaves the supper table - and every night I tell her, not yet, I will come and get her ready when it's her bedtime. And every night she asks me "you won't forget me, will you?" or she says , "Now, don't forget me". It becomes a regular litany. Everytime I pass by her room, sometimes she even comes looking for me to recite her litany.

When my boys, Bob, Bob and Bob, were little and they would start in on their litanies... 'are we there yet?', 'when are we gonna go [insert activity in vogue here]', I could respond with something very parental, like "Don't make me stop this car" or "we can still go back home", or the all time horror phrase, "If you ask me again, we won't be going anywhere". This technique works well with children. But just imagining the major meltdown that Shirley Goodness would have if I told her "If you ask me again, I won't put you to bed at all" lets me know that this is one instandce that requires ME to cool my jets.

So I smile, tell her (again) how many minutes it will be until I"m there to help and remember not too long ago when she came into the hallway and asked me to "get rid of that man I don't like". With visions of mobsters and tommy-guns ( 'he had it coming....') I was invited into her room, with an impatient sweep of her hand, she pointed out the man I was to get rid of. A push of the power button on the TV , and I had 'gotten rid' of an unwanted man. And Shirley Goodness thanked me profusely.

Too bad we can't get rid of all our problems so easily. Too bad acts of kindness aren't always so simple or quick. But, whatever their cost, they are always worth every effort and the time.